My Little Silver Cross

A couple months ago, back during the spring soccer season, I had just finished my first collegiate game and it was against Anderson University. I left the field in an awkward stage with a little bit of disappointment. Our previous assistant coach is the new head coach at Anderson but she was a part of everything involving my knee and camp last summer and inviting me to be part of the team. Even so, I didn't feel like part of the team after my first game as they all hugged her and spoke with her. We lost that game and it was embarrassing, I won't lie. But if anyone who has seen me play before would have felt fooled if they saw me play that night. My knee brace lobbed around and beat me up. I ran in circles aimlessly and confused. I'm not sure if it was the excitement of stepping on that field or just pure loss of skill over a good 7 months. Either way, I looked to God in that moment in desperate hope for an answer. See, God answers all prayers but he answers them on his time and not ours. He knows what is best and its hard to see as humans that the plans he has set for us are beyond comparison to our own plans.

After the game I trudged to the locker room, dragging the heavy sound system box with me. I sat there waiting for all of the players to return with their laundry so I could start a load. Impatiently waiting for two players to return, I walked outside to drag them back in. I hated to break up their conversation with the former assistant coach but I needed to get my job done. Finally, I had all of the laundry collected in the bin and made my way to the gym laundry room. I put the 2 loads in the washers and departed back to my dorm in the dark.

I began to think deeply into the game. I felt like (at the time) that I hadn't been given a good enough chance to prove myself worthy of playing time on the field. I was upset and I cried in the shower wishing I hadn't screwed up my knee and wanting things to be normal. I was beyond burned out on doing soccer laundry each day and I was ready to actually play. I got my chance and well, I screwed up. So after my shower I walked back to the gym to move everything over to the dryer. I quickly moved everything over so I could get back to Belk and get some much needed sleep. I shut the washer door and began to walk away when I noticed an object left laying inside. I opened it back up to find a small metal cross with 'God Loves You' engraved on it. I suddenly felt a feeling of relief because I felt God surround me, hug me, and remind me that he was listening to my prayers. He was there the whole time but I doubted his placement.

Now, months later I've been living in Myrtle all summer but currently in Panama City for the week. I've been going through a lot in my head and fighting with idolizing soccer and such. Fighting injury after injury (sprained foot, shin splints, busted toe... the list is continuous) I wonder what God's plans are for me, especially this fall for my first season. Then there are other things in my life I've been fighting with and I've been constantly looking to God for answers but they are still yet to come. Today I opened my backpack and pulled out my bag of letters from friends and family that I keep with me. Inside was that hopeful, little silver cross I had once found all lonesome in the washing machine. And so now I feel God is listening as he always is and he reminded me once again that his plans are better than I can even imagine.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."